Nimbus The Cat

My new pose

2006-10-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

This pose is what I like to call:

"In the Presence of Tuna"

It is the first in my new line of photographs. More to come soon...

Your Nim-Blogger,
Nimbus

Snuggle Bunnies

2006-09-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, the little guy truly is a good pet and steadfast bodyguard.

Kitchen Caper

2006-08-22T19:23:00.000-07:00

A plea to the woman:

Numerous people and animal friends have equated my lifestyle to that of a Hobbit. I believe the reason for this is because of my appetite. As you know, first and second breakfasts are a must, although I prefer not to engage in afternoon tea since I despise hot liquids. I also highly enjoy dinner and supper.

As to not disrupt the routine I have set forth for my stomach, I have established these meal times and enforce them vigorously.

So, it is quite understandable that when my bowl is missing during one of my designated meal times, I become terrified. Moby snapped these photos earlier today that depict me in a state of panic looking for my missing food bowl. I thought it would surely appear within one of the kitchen cabinets, but after an exhaustive search, I came up empty-pawed.

Come to find out, you stole my bowl to “clean” it. I have reminded you numerous times that I perform remarkably well at cleaning my own bowl, yet you continually ignore my plea to leave the bowl alone.

Hence, I appeal to you one final time. Please woman…if you are reading this…all I need you to do is make sure the bowl is continually brimming with food.

Thank you for respecting the Bus.

Cat Grass

2006-08-16T11:03:00.000-07:00

While we are proud to be carnivores, Moby and I occasionally transcend boundaries by dabbling in an omnivore diet.

And I have to admit, one of the simple pleasures in life is the way the wheat grass gently tickles my nose before I consume it. If I was capable of giggling, I would do it!

I was tagged

2006-08-13T19:20:00.000-07:00

Here are the rules: The player of this game starts with "5 weird things/habits about yourself." In the end you need to choose 5 people to be tagged and list their names. The people who get tagged need to write a blog about their 5 weird things/habits as well as state this rule clearly, then tag 5 more victims. Don't forget to leave your victim a comment that says "you're tagged!" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1. I enjoy slapping the heck out of water, especially water dripping from the kitchen sink or backyard hose.
2. Speaking of water...Moby and I got ringworm from the pound before we were adopted. We had to endure three months of baths, dips, and ointments. Thank goodness I don't know any better!
3. I give the lady hugs. I put my paw on her leg and she scoops me up. I will occasionally hug the man, but don't tell the woman.
4. I have a pet cat named Moby. I was thinking of also getting a pet chihuahua, but they are too much maintenance. A pet is only worth having if they take care of YOU!
5. I do not like to eat kibble unless the woman points to it and sits next to me while I eat it. I'm proper...I ask permission to eat first.

I thought I would randomly tag some bloggers. Here are my victims:
http://richardtracy.blogspot.com/
http://saraebeth.blogspot.com/
http://freeisa.blogspot.com/
http://brentjones.blogspot.com/
http://smileykhp.blogspot.com/

Good Reading

2006-08-02T17:26:00.000-07:00

Believe me, I am a fan of reading—just not for my humans. Any time spent reading is time that could be spent rubbing and cuddling Nimbus.

This is a photo of me using one of my many tactics to refocus the human’s attention on what is truly important in her life—the Bus.

On a side note for those of you who are observant: Yes, I am sitting on the Love Sac. Notice, however, that I am on the human, not the actual Blob. I still don’t trust it after it consumed me in its fluff a couple months ago.

Stink Bug

2006-07-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

I was enjoying a delightful mid-evening snack in my Nimbus bowl last night, when all of a sudden, a disgusting black bug invaded my personal space. I’m not fond of black bugs, but I will pounce and eat the brown ones, as they taste slightly like chicken. I have never encountered a bug such as this before, so with my mouth still full of my delicious science diet, I proceeded to introduce myself and BLEEGGGGHHH—I uncontrollably spit out my food.

The thing exuded an utterly disgusting aroma that overwhelmed my nostrils!

I demanded that either Moby or the human rid it from my dining area immediately. The man quickly obliged. I encouraged him to squash the thing for the trauma I had just experienced, but the man claimed it would just make it smell like yuck even worse.

Upon reflection of this event, the bug's smelliness appears to be a defense tactic. I now wish the human hadn’t disposed of it so hastily.

There must be a way to acquire this ability to use to my personal advantage…particularly around brushing time. Maybe if I digest one?

I have Moby on the lookout for any of its family members that may be lingering in the vicinity. Oh yes, I will test my hypothesis.

Your swash-buggler,
Nimbus

Finally Done

2006-07-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

Our new home is finally complete to my specifications, and the best addition yet is the new sectional. I like to snuggle up on it's cushy taupe-ness with my current read, Bad Cats by Jim Edgar, a cozy blanket, and my neck support pillow. Life is good.

Cat burglar

2006-06-05T20:43:00.000-07:00

So I like to play with the lady's rings when she takes them off...

...there's no need to call me a cat burglar. I'll eventually give them back if I don't lose them first.

I just like the feeling of gold between my teeth. Maybe I should just spring for a couple of gold fangs?

Exempt

2006-05-25T10:14:00.000-07:00

I am going to report the woman to the authorities.

My papers say that I am a Domestic Short Hair, meaning I am legally exempt from being brushed.

If she harasses me one more time with that comb I'll call my contacts and have her ticketed.

Nimbus Cat

Desert Rat

2006-05-22T17:42:00.000-07:00

I thought I looked quite striking in this photo...nice profile shot, good posture, and the lighting really brought out my complexion.

But the human ruined my mood when she said I looked like a true desert rat.

I'm quite offended.

Blob

2006-05-09T19:57:00.000-07:00

So in our new house we have a gigantic blob.

I don't know whose brilliant idea it was to adopt this thing, but I am not pleased. It's not productive at all. It just sits around on its brown blobby butt. I tried to step on it to get a reaction out of it, but the thing just about sucked me in to its black hole of foam and cushion! It almost suffocated me. (That's where I have been for the past few weeks...)

Its name is Love Sac, which I find very deceptive. It obviously has no love or respect for the Bus.

It likes Moby on the other hand, so I let him be the mediator. Nothing has been accomplished though. Every time I send him over there to investigate, the thing woos him to sleep. The above photo is the evidence.

I will keep you posted on my progress. If he is going to be staying in our new house, I intend to have him pay rent.

Nimbus C.

Busy Busy

2006-03-28T16:11:00.000-08:00

Sorry I have been away...my life has been exciting and full of changes!

We moved into a new house. It's very spacious! I'm a little bored sometimes because this house is a lot quieter than the other one with all the cats. Moby is very happy though. He doesn't other animals except for me and the tortoises. He's actually happier than I ever remember. I can tell because he pounces me all the time.

I have discovered what trains are. We have one close to our backyard. Frightening creatures but they leave us alone. I stayed under the bed for an entire day when I saw that thing, but it leaves seems to be preoccupied with going back and forth.

The backyard is barren, but I'm hoping to go outside soon. The woman doesn't want me to roll in the dirt...she knows me all to well.

That's just a catch up! For those of you who continue to visit my page through my absence, thank you! I'll write more when the guy gets the desktop set up.

Nimbus C.

Close Quarters

2006-03-01T20:53:00.000-08:00

This is a photo of Moby and I attempting to enter the record books, by being the first cat duo to fit into a tissue box at the same time.

I sent out press releases and had my agent call on his contacts, but the only person who showed to the event was the human lady. It's probably for the best however. It was a complete and utter failure. Moby's claustrophobia got the best of him while my paw got stuck in the opening.

Kitty friends, we are malleable, but heed my warning: Avoid the tissue box at all costs...only Flat Stanley could fit into one!

A Human Project

2006-02-15T08:18:00.000-08:00

My human asked me if I could post an experiment to see how it well it worked. We worked out a deal involving extra outside time and a bonus kitty treat, so I graciously obliged.

She wants my creative kitty friends to finish the following story. Feel free to post one or two paragraphs in the comments section and leave the remainder of the story for other kitties to finish. The 6th person to comment is responsible for writing the concluding paragraph. Thanks for your help!

Here's the story starter:

A curious little kitty slowly opened her bright green eyes. She had just awoken from a glorious nap on her kitty condo next to the window. Hungry, she jumped down from her perch to nibble some food, but instead, she stood in shock at what she saw...

Kitty Hammock

2006-02-05T19:56:00.000-08:00

Here is a photo of Moby snoozing on his kitty hammock.

I choose to avoid this contraption. For some reason, when I get on it, the fabric sinks so low that I touch the ground. Moby and I haven't figured out why.

Your not fat, just fluffy cat,
Nimbus

My Magical Paw

2006-01-29T18:22:00.000-08:00

If I could wave my magical paw and have any wish come true, I think it would be this:

When I lick the humans’s noses, kibble would come out of their nostrils.

It would be a win-win situation for all parties involved.

"Big Boy"

2006-01-23T11:30:00.000-08:00

Just because I weigh more than Moby, that does not entitle me to the nickname "Big Boy."

Thank you,
Nimbus C.

45 Days

2006-01-19T20:58:00.000-08:00

The humans keep telling me we are going to move into our own house soon, but this is all I hear:

“45 days Nimbus until our new house is done.”

Next week: “Well Nimbus, looks like 45 days more until we move into our new house.”

Following week: “We’ve been told it’s going to be 45 more days until the house is done, Nimbus.”

Two weeks later: “We’ll be moving in 45 more days, Nimbus.”

Now, I have trouble with my number above ten, but I’m pretty sure something is wrong here.

All I know is Moby and I need to get into our own house soon. There’s just too many friggin’ cats in this current house and it’s stifling my creativity.

And that’s all I have to say about that,
Nimbus Cat

Mr. "Calendar"

2006-01-14T08:19:00.000-08:00

Hello all,

I am in urgent need of contact information for a gentleman by the name of "Calendar." I am under the impression that he is the person responsible for the numerous "Turkey Days" we have been having recently.

I would like to personally thank him and request that more "Turkey Days" occur. I particularly like when presents accompany "Turkey Days."

The only other thing I know about him is the number 365. I am assuming this is his weight.

Thank you for your time. If you know of this gentleman's e-mail address, please contact me immediately. I am also going to propose to him a "Nimbus Day" of some sort with madatory parades. I have always wanted to ride on a parade float.

Gobble Gobble,
Nimbus Cat

Pictures

2006-01-05T19:40:00.000-08:00

I know I'm irresistible, but the humans’ obsession with photographing me is out of control.

I thought sticking out my tongue would possibly ruin the experience and discourage them from taking further pictures.

To my dismay, my plan backfired...they found this pose to be "adorable."

I just hope they don't start selling these snapshots to the paparazzi. I would have to pay my PR person overtime to repair the damage to my career.

Sincerely,
Nimbus Cat

Food Flirt

2005-12-28T12:05:00.000-08:00

I am a “food flirt” and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I find it a highly effective tool for obtaining delectable delicacies, and YOU TOO can achieve the instant gratification of food when you so choose.

Here’s what you do:

1. Snuggle up to the human…females work best.

2. Start with a slight lick on the human nose.

3. After one minute, lick the nose more intensely.

4. If the human moves their face away from you, move it back toward you with your paw. Release slight claw pressure as necessary.

5. If the human hides their head under a pillow, don’t be afraid to burrow under there with them. I use double paw action to pull the pillow off as a last resort.

6. Continue to lick the human nose until they get up to feed you. I make sure to “accidentally” snag my tooth in the human nostril to seal the deal. Humans can’t stand it. While it’s slightly disgusting, it’s highly effective.

Persistence pays off. I now have the humans fully trained, and I rarely have to use all six steps. The humans actually differentiate between what they call "genuine lovin's" and "food lovin's."

Good luck to all and sorry for my absence!
Nimbus

Socks

2005-11-08T17:06:00.000-08:00

Socks are fun,
Socks smell sweet,
Socks live on the humans' feet.

I like them dirty,
I like them clean,
Don't mess with them, Moby, or I'll get mean!

Bed Hog

2005-10-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

I was being a good pet owner, so I let Moby snuggle without me disturbing him...but if you look at my expression you can see the frustration building. What I really wanted to say to the little guy was:
"Move over you freaking blanket hog! And cover yourself up while you're at it, this isn't Chippendales!"
I try to be lenient with my pet, but sometimes I have to let him know I'm the pack-leader. I'm not a tyrant by any means, but I must display my dominance to maintain peace in the household.
Maybe he'll get the idea when he reads this.

Sincerely,
Nim-boss

My Cubicle

2005-10-18T20:32:00.000-07:00

I dabble in the fashion industry here and there. Most my consulting is for Versace, Sean John, and Kathy Ireland.

It's not a glamorous as you would think though...above is a photo of me hard at work in my cubicle at 6:30am. My inspirations come to me at all hours of the day.

I think I may create a scent next. The lady always enjoys the smell of my fur after I wash myself, so it should capture the essence of damp fur and kitty breath. Any suggestions for what I should call it?

Sincerely,
Nimbus the Glamorous

Nim Nim Nim Bah!

2005-09-27T20:32:00.000-07:00

I was watching good ol' PBS this morning and I saw something very disturbing...I believe they are called Boooooohhhhhbbbbbaaaaaahhhhhh. Here's a link to a little more information, if you are unfamiliar with them: http://pbskids.org/boohbah/boohbah.html (make sure you turn on your speakers...I'm sure you'll get a real kick out of it if you do!)

Now I know these bright balls of flatulence are intended to teach little ones something, but I'll have to admit, they are a little frightening.

I wanted to turn away, but my eyes were glued to the screen. The beautiful rainbow colors...the sparkles...the music!

I was drawn off of the kitty condo. Before you know it, I was bouncing to the magical beats and swinging my paws all over the place!

By the end of the half hour, I was sold. Sign me up for the Boohbah fan club!

I really need to talk to my agent about becoming the sixth Boohbah. I think my black fur would contrast nicely against the mix of colors. I even created my character name: NIM NIM NIM BAH!

I definitely will be tuning in again tomorrow. I need to practice my moves in case of future auditions here in Vegas.

Zoo

2005-09-18T18:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I live in a freaking zoo!

Your zookeeper,
Nimbus Cat

The Pants

2005-09-05T10:55:00.000-07:00

It's true...
I do wear the pants in the family.

Your friend,
'Bus the Boss

My Buddy

2005-08-18T19:21:00.000-07:00

Picture courtesy of vegaskevin.com

This is a photo of my friend, Sam "Capitol Hill" Squirrel. He's one of my undomesticated friends from around the country. We keep in touch by e-mail. When I found out the humans were going to Washington D.C., I made sure they stopped by to say hello and deliver him some nuts on me. Boy, that guy has some stories to tell, but if I shared them with you I'd have to kill you.

Nimbus C.
"The Confidant"

Hmmmm...

2005-08-16T08:15:00.000-07:00

What came first...

...the penguin or the tuxedo cat?

Talk amongst yourselves.

From:
Your non-penguin, almost tuxedo cat,
Nimbus C.

Snuggly Wuggly

2005-08-13T19:22:00.000-07:00

Nothing is better that being all snuggly wuggly between the humans on a stormy night. I feel like the chocolately center of a Nimbus Sandwich. MMMM...sandwich.

Forget the humans!
To the kitchen!

Your cat with the rumbly tummy,
Nimbus C.

Where's Moby?

2005-08-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

I seem to have lost my pet Moby.

He disappeared right after I presented him with his list of chores.

Maybe he's hiding under the bed?

Ingenious Combo

2005-07-21T20:58:00.000-07:00

Tasty food packaged in a comfy box; what an ingenious combo!

Thank you Science Diet!
From Nimbus Cat...your faithful consumer

Royal Red

2005-07-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

No longer will I help the humans with their kitchen renovations.

I was being a good cat…

I stayed out of the way and lent the humans my moral support.

I thought sitting on the window sill would be a good place to do just that.

The result of my carefulness: Four “Royal Red” paws and a trip to the bathtub.

The Beast in the Backyard

2005-06-29T18:13:00.000-07:00

Sorry for my absence fans!

My teeth are feeling great and I have recovered!

I have been spending my free time battling the beast in the backyard. It appears to be almost snakelike, but it spits massive quantities of venom at its prey.

Luckily, I am immune to its poison because it drenches me each time I try to attack. Here is a photo of the two of us engaging in a duel:

I don't usually get thanks from the other backyard kitties after I conquer the beast, but I'm not in it for the glory. I simply feel good knowing the world is a safer place when the beast is defeated.

Sincerely,
Nimbus the Conqueror

TOOT TOOT

2005-06-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

I love you…

Yes you…

The one looking at the screen right now…

I really do. I love you.

I love the humans too. They’re good people.

ZZZZzzzzzzzzz….

Huh? *Snort* What was I talking about? I don’t remember. But you know what? I love you.

I love that vet too. He’s good people.

WOAH! My teeth are damn clean! I think he had something to do with it!! I love that vet guy. Yup, he’s a good guy…being all considerate about my shiny grill.

Heard the humans say I got some “Special K.” If I knew that cereal made you feel this good, I would have tried it earlier, even if it tastes nasty and grainy.

ZZZZzzzzzzz…

Huh? Oh, hi. How are you today?

I love the girl. Where is that girl? I need to kiss her nose ‘cause I love her so much.

I’m pretty sleepy. I feel SO GOOD! This is good. Yah, real good.

I’m gonna go now.

ALL ABOARD!
NimBOOOSE the Caboose is leaving for the bedroom!
TOOT TOOT! TOOT TOOT!

Webmaster’s disclaimer: The opinions of Nimbus The Cat do not represent the opinions of either nimbuscat.blogspot.com or its affiliates. We do not condone drug use…even though Nimbus may disagree.

Acro-cats

2005-06-01T15:46:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I was watching a little Animal Planet about some guy in Vegas who uses tigers in his magic show on the Strip and I experienced an epiphany.

Why haven’t I thought about this before?

I am destined to be a glitzy Vegas entertainer! Soon it will become a reality:
the fame,
the mansion,
the sparking backyard pool,
the babes,
the cars.
I will be the first cat featured on MTV’s Cribs.

So here’s the title of the act: Nimbus and his Acro-cat, Moby.

I have already started training the little guy:

I thought I could do a little singing too…I even came up with a stage name for myself: Wayne Nimbus. I don’t think “Mr. Las Vegas” will mind since he is no longer a nightly act in town.

PS: Max, the Psychokitty…when I get this thing going, I may be calling on you to be my understudy. I know you sing well too.

Signed,
Wayne Nimbus
“The Entertainer”

Money

2005-05-29T14:01:00.000-07:00

The humans owe me $300, and believe me, I will go all the way to Judge Judy if they don't agree to reimburse me with interest.

It started when I was at the shelter. I was there to find a permanent roommate, as were many other cats and dogs. The man I currently live with walked by my cage. He seemed to be friendly and genuine, so I opened our conversation with a "meow." Humans seem to love that sound, and mine was still high-pitched and cute because I was young.

We hit it off right away, and I knew he was the perfect roommate, so we proceeded to negotiate our contract. We went back and forth for awhile, but we finally agreed to the following terms: I was to pay him $300 for the pet deposit to the apartment we would share, and he would allow my pet Moby to live with us. In return, he would provide for my every need for the rest of my life. I even distinctly remember having my lawyer look it over and approve it. I signed the contract with my paw print and the rest is history...

EXCEPT, now we don't live in the apartment anymore, and I sure know the place we live in now does not have any type of pet deposit. I have asked my fellow household cats about how much they paid to live here, and they just stare at me blankly. THERFORE, if there is currently no need for my $300 anymore, I want it back. I could use that cash for a PSP.

This declaration hereby signed before my Internet witnesses,
Nimbus Cat

Sleepy

2005-05-23T15:11:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been away for the past few days...I've been asleep!

I woke up to do this blog, but I think I need another days worth of nappin'. I'll be back shortly though. Check back soon!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

Class of 2005

2005-05-12T16:13:00.000-07:00

I am thrilled the man is graduating this weekend. Hopefully, he'll give me some more lovin's with all the free time he'll have on his hands. I hated being pushed out of the way while he was doing his school work. No offense, but if he didn't get the idea that I needed some lovin's when I walked over his papers and keyboard, then I don't know how he passed his logic courses.

Anyway...cheers to the man!
Nimbus

Black Cat Blues

2005-05-01T08:13:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when I get the "black cat blues," (especially after hearing one too many black cat superstitions), I go to my favorite dirt pile in the backyard and roll in the powdery mess.

This is what I look like when I am done...

It takes a while to clean up afterward.

Your Cat-meleon,
Nimbus C.

Break Dancin'

2005-04-30T10:41:00.000-07:00

This morning the humans were singing some tunes...very weird if you ask me. I think they had been to a concert the night before. It sounded like they went to hear some guy named Moby, which I hope is not the case because that means an imposter is going around with my pet's name. I worry about somebody stealing Moby Cat's identity...trying to fix your credit after such a situation is a complete nuisance.

Back to the point. The humans were singing this morning, which put me in the mood to dance. I decided to go to my dancing spot in the tub and bust a few moves. I love the thunderous booms my paws make against the porcelain. If everyone isn't awake in the house they will be!

I often draw a crowd. Some of the other cats peek over the edge of the tub to awe at my wondrous abilities.

Unfortunately, that annoying tail that follows me around all day gets in the way. I wish that thing would just leave me alone sometimes. When I'm dancing in the tub, it is so visible against the gleaming white surface. I get so mad at it that I

POUNCE it

and I CLAW at it

and BITE the heck out of it,

and exclaim, "LEAVE ME ALONE YOU DIRTY

ROTTEN SCOUNREL!!!"...

...and it's at that time when I'm rudely reminded that it is attached to me.

It was an interesting morning indeed.

Your dancing king,
Nimbus Astaire

Broccoli

2005-04-21T20:51:00.000-07:00

Broccoli doesn't taste all that bad if it follows a juicy piece of chicken.

When you're stealing food off the human's plate, you can't be choosy about what happens to land in your mouth.

Your omnivore,
Nimbus

Outside Outside Outside

2005-04-15T18:45:00.000-07:00

Look humans,

Us cats are wild beasts. Our ancestors have roamed the African landscapes for thousands of years, hunting bunnies and other fluffy animals.

THEREFORE, please pay attention to the following fact:

While Moby and myself have been branded with that ugly term, domesticated, we are completely capable of fending for ourselves in the wild. I know which neighbors like cats and which don't. I know not to run into the street because people in this town don't know how to drive. AND, I know to holler loud when I feel good and ready to come inside.

SO, please let Moby and me and all the other housecats play outside more often. It feels good, and it helps me to become closer to my roots. It's just the right thing to do.

Your kitty-rights advocate,
Nimbus Cat

Bath time

2005-04-11T20:53:00.000-07:00

Bath time

There's nothing like having a best friend to wash those hard to reach spots.

Sleepy

2005-04-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

I'm awful sleepy tonight, so the woman is typing while I dictate.

This week has been very tiring in particular. From advising Donald Trump on investments to being the vocal coach on American Idol, it can wear a kitty down. I just can't say no. I can't help that I'm a hot ticket right now.

So, *yawwwwwn.* I must catch a nap now. I think I have an early morning interview with the Today show. I need to confirm that with my publicist though.

Nimbus C.

Excalibur

2005-04-06T20:41:00.000-07:00

Moby is modeling what we call "Excalibur."

The man has been tinkering in the garage for the past two days. We've tried to sneak out there to see the top secret machine he was making, without success.

Then today, he wanders in, covered in dust, with Excalibur in his arms.

Note the area covered by the curtain. We call it the "womb." It is a cozy spot where I can secretly stalk any prey that may walk by, such as human feet or other annoying cats that live in this house.

Excalibur is beautful and if sure feels good under my kitty body!

Your king,
Nimbus

Munchies

2005-04-04T18:45:00.000-07:00

An Ode to Food...
By Nimbus E. Frost

Two bowls full of food,
And sorry I could not eat both
And be one nibbler, long I stood
And looked at them as long as I could
As my belly rumble continued its growth;

Science Diet, the first of the pair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
As it caused a sweet aroma in the air;
Though for the price you'd think it were rare,
On corporations we must place the blame,

Purina Cat Chow, the second, rests in its tray,
In flavor, this brand does not hold back.
Oh, what a fabulous feasting buffet!
However, I still cannot pick to my dismay,
Decisions, decisions, and this is only a snack!

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere I completely lost my sense:
Two bowls brimming with food, and I-
I gobbled them both in the blink of an eye,
And that has made by belly immense.

Dedicated to Mr. Lopez and Jojo

2005-04-01T18:53:00.000-08:00

Hello fellow bloggers...

Have you ever suffered from a severe case of kitty boredom and decided to type your blog's name into a Google search, to see if anyone has commented on your writing?

I did that today, and I was surprised and interested at what I found. Many people have made a link to my site who I don't even know! Additionally, someone even found my blog so exceptional that he decided to BLOG about MY BLOG! Here's what Mr. Lopez and Jojo said:

These people are allowed to vote and drive
"Whatever did we do before the internet? You had to work in some low-skill cubicle farm or be related to people who held crappy potluck reunions or frequent public transportation to be lucky enough to hear someone narrate gross stories in the voice of her cat. Well, thanks to the invention of the information superhighway, the exploits of Nimbus the Cat are right at your fingertips."

WOW! I am honored. Although I think Mr. Lopez is a bit confused, because I am not allowed drive nor vote (although I am completely capable of both), I am thrilled that he is intriqued by my "exploits." I have never been to a crappy potluck, but I cannot imagine how a variety of foods together could ever be considered a bad experience. At least he doesn't have to wait for public transportation on the way to his job at a low-skill cubicle farm to hear about fabulous felines such as myself and many of my friends. I am just a click away thanks to cyberspace, and he can visit me daily, as I'm sure he has my page bookmarked! Mr. Lopez does not accept comments on his blog, so I wanted to dedicate this blog entry to him and express my appreciation for his kind thoughts toward me!

Your friendly cat,
Nimbus

My Belly

2005-03-31T06:55:00.000-08:00

Here is it, in all its glory...

I believe my belly is my most attractive asset. It's fuzzy, soft, and it feels oh so good to be rubbed.

Everyone just naturally gravitates toward it. The other day I went to go visit this guy named Dr. Thomas the veteranarian. He was grabbing at my belly pretty intensely, so I said, "Hey guy, if you really want to rub my belly that badly, here it is." Then I flipped on my back and let him have it. The sight of my belly instantly brought a smile to his face.

The only thing better than a simple belly rub is what I call the "ear-belly combo," in which the area right behind the right ear is rubbed in conjunction with the belly. Purrrr...

In conclusion, my belly is perfect. I hangs down just enough to let humans grab it and rub it, but no so far as to brush the ground.

Your belly-licious feline,
Nimbus Cat

The force

2005-03-28T19:52:00.000-08:00

After a long day of battle, nothing is better than resting your tired chin atop your Light Saber and taking a light snooze.

Here's what happened:

I engaged in battle with the Sith Lords on the Death Star. Moby Cat, my Padawan learner, petered out after dispatching about 10 Clone Troopers. He decided to hide under the blanket next to the couch to snuggle with his mouse. Here's what the little guy looked like:

I continued to engage in battle until I faced the Emperor himself. I gave him the jab of death with my Light Saber and watched as he took his last breath and perished before my very eyes. I was personally congratulated by Jar Jar and Queen Amidala.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to use my Jedi Mind Tricks to lure the woman into giving me some tuna. All I have to do is wave my paw and say, "You will give me tuna."

Sincerely,
Nimbus Skywalker

I have emerged...

2005-03-26T09:43:00.000-08:00

I have emerged...

Hello fans,

I apologize for my month-long departure, but I was on top of the fridge.

I was conducting important research, which for your own protection, will remain secret.

I look forward to resuming my cat-friendly blogging in the coming days.

Your intelli-cat,
Nimbus

Delusions

2005-02-26T16:50:00.000-08:00

I need to lay off the nip. My eyes were playing tricks on me all morning!
I'm a logical cat, but I could swear I saw this rock was moving by itself.

Black Cat Confusion

2005-02-21T18:42:00.000-08:00

Now this is just gosh-darn freaking ridiculous! There are way too many animals in this house trying to copy my fur color. Now, I know black is a trend-setting choice for fur these days, but I need for my individuality to be respected.

Where are the extra buckets of mauve semi-gloss paint that the humans just used? I think I have an idea.

At least I'm easily identified in the picture above by my striking features and healthy fur-shine.

Black cat #1,
Nimbus

English #3

2005-02-12T09:43:00.000-08:00

I'm not outside

The humans call the yellow object pictured above a "yard stick," but this name is completely misleading. I have found no correlation between playing with this object, and being able to frolic outside in the backyard.

Fellow kitties, do not be fooled if you encounter the yard stick...I believe it is yet another idiot-syncracy of the English language.

Your beloved mammal,
Nimbus Cat

Drop Everything and Love Nimbus

2005-02-07T18:08:00.000-08:00

It happens in the early morning hours, the mid-morning hours, at noon, slightly after noon, before dinner, during dinner, after dinner, twice before bedtime, and at night.

It is called "Drop Everything and Love Nimbus Time."

I don't care what you are doing...

Paying the bills? It's not important--you need to love Nimbus.
Playing a videogame? Drop it and love Nimbus.
Typing something on the computer? Stop it and love Nimbus.
Cooking? Postpone it and love Nimbus (unless you're cooking for Nimbus).
Giving somebody CPR? Do it later...Nimbus needs lovins.

I know the humans enjoy this quality time with me. Sometimes, they are so happy they raise their voice and shout, "NIMBUS!!!!!" It is those times that I know I have done my job to reduce the stress in their lives.

Your caring cat,
Nimbus

Taste The Freshness

2005-02-02T20:51:00.000-08:00

Taste the freshness
Excuse me...can I please have some privacy here!?

Lucky Bear

2005-01-30T08:59:00.000-08:00

Lucky Bear

Yes, it is true. I live with yet ANOTHER black-furred animal. While this animal looks like a cat, I have come to the conclusion that he actually a bear...hence his name, Lucky Bear. He looks like a cat, he smells like a cat, but he does not follow the rules of the cat.

For example, when I first encountered him, he walked up to me and meowed loudly in my face. This is clearly a violation of Cat Rule #15 which states, "When meeting cats for the first time, never make eye contact. Wait until they are not paying attention to you and smell their butt. Verbal communication is not authorized until all smells have been identified."

I let him know I am aware he is an imposter, and that I will not allow him to continue his crazy shenanegans of pretending to be a cat. Unfortunately, he speaks a completely unfamiliar language so that communication has been practically impossible. I think he speaks some form of "Bear-glish." As long as he stays under the bed, as he typically does during the day and throughout the winter, I think peace shall remain in the household.

Your non-bear,
Nimbus The Cat

Human Fur

2005-01-25T20:06:00.000-08:00

The man wants to get rid of the fur on his face so desperately that he continues the shaving routine daily, yet he keeps the fur on his head neatly groomed. This doesn't make sense...either you want fur or you don't. In my opinion, human heads remind me of a Sphynx cat with a toupee. It's just not natural.

Your furry (and proud of it!) cat,
Nimbus

The Vicious Orange Bunny

2005-01-22T07:46:00.000-08:00

The vicious orange bunny is about to attack...but I'm wise to his techniques.

Thanks to my wise feline friend, Timothy Dickens, I have come to realize that the vicious orange bunny that hangs from my window, is in fact, not a bunny at all. All I knew about bunnies is that they were fluffy, they bounced, and they brought chocolate on Easter. I had never actually seen one though.

I have decided to continue to call it the vicious orange bunny, however. It is used to that name, and I don't want to cause it unnecessary confusion. It doesn't seem too intelligent.

Your perpetually learning cat,
Nimbus

All is well again

2005-01-20T19:24:00.000-08:00

As you can see above, all is well with Moby and me. That Dr. Phil guy knows what he's talking about. I used his brutally honest tactics and told Moby how I felt deep down. I said, "I've been good to you cat! Now love me!" And it worked.

Sincerely,
Dr. Nimbus

Pet Snatcher

2005-01-19T17:52:00.000-08:00

Lady Cat

So you think she's cute, don't you? That's the problem, SHE IS...and Moby is eating is all up. He is supposed to be my pet cat, but he is spending an awful lot of time with this "Lady" cat-- if she's even a cat at all. She doesn't even know how to meow. She just grunts..."ehhh, ehhh." I think she may possibly be an extra furry piglet. Whatever species she is, she has cast a spell over my Moby cat. He isn't listening to me as he did before, and we only play tag for 30 minutes per day instead of an hour. I've never lost a pet before. It hurts inside. Nimbus cat has feelings too. I think I shall have a one on one with Moby near the kitty condos.
P.S.--Let it be known now that if she does not relinquish her claim to my favorite kitty condo perch as pictured above, she will experience the wrath of this furry ball of fire that is NIMBUS CAT. Ohh, I like how that sounded.

Your furry ball of fire,
Nimbus

Bad Kitty Days

2005-01-17T07:54:00.000-08:00

I just had two very bad kitty days (I think humans call those days Saturday and Sunday). Moby and I recognize them as kitty days because they are all about us. The humans are home from work and we get showered with attention. I still got showered with attention, but not for good reasons. The woman brought me to the awful place where there are tons of crazy dogs and cats, and they jabbed me with needles. I have done my research on the Internet and I have learned they are called vaccinations. I will forgive the human because I love her and I understand she was just doing this because it's supposed to keep me healthy, but it was not a good experience.

We had to wait for almost an hour and there was barely any line. Then, we were next to this weird lady and her cat. She kept talking to my human about how she hoped her cat didn't have any contagious diseases. Yah, that's just what I want to hear when I'm parked in a kitty carrier right next to her cat.

When it was all over, I was very happy, and I felt fine. But then, later that night, I felt awful. I threw up and I didn't want anyone to touch me because I felt so yucky. I slept all of the next kitty day in my hiding spot, and I didn't eat a thing (which it definitely not like me). The humans were very worried, but a vet assured them this was normal. NORMAL?! I think it sucks.

The humans have done some research and found out that kitties such as myself who had all their booster shots as kittens, might not need yearly boosters. I wish they would have found that out beforehand. So my fellow kitties, have you heard this news? What do you think, and how often do you get vaccinated? The humans are definitely going to find out more about this for me.

Your long-winded cat,
Nimbus

Good kitty etiquette

2005-01-15T11:08:00.000-08:00

Good kitty etiquette

Notice to my fans:
Should I, by chance, meet one of you in the future, please don't be offended if I do not allow you touch me immediately (or ever). It is just good kitty etiquette to let me smell you first to determine if your hand is suitable enough to touch me. It takes many hours of grooming to keep this healthy fur-shine, so I hope you understand. The only exempt human is the woman, unless she has been gone from the house all day. All others are subject to the mandatory smell test.

Thank you for your time,
Nimbus the Cat

Number One

2005-01-13T19:50:00.001-08:00

I peed on the bed yesterday. It was a drastic measure, but it was necessary. The humans were asleep, but I really did them a favor because they turned off the singing box with the numbers WAY too many times. I snuggled in between them, rested my bum on the man, and let it roll. I never urinate on the woman; I'm not stupid. She feeds me and cleans my litter box.
On the other hand, the humans ARE pretty stupid. It was obvious why I did it. All I heard was their speculation:
maybe he doesn't like the other cats in the room...
maybe he wanted us to get up...
maybe he wanted his litter box cleaned...
maybe he doesn't like the new comforter...
maybe he's just being lazy...
They just don't get it, do they? Well, if they're too dumb to figure out why I did it, I'm not going to spell it out for them.

Your non-lazy cat (I was a bit offended by that one),
Nimbus Cat

Kiwis

2005-01-12T20:34:00.000-08:00

Me and the Blog

I'm a cat that knows what tastes good, and kiwis taste GOOOOOOD! Yes, I'm talking about that irresistable fruit that grows in the beautiful lands of New Zealand (I've watched the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy on DVD when the humans were at work).

I have been craving kiwi, and I wanted to post a gigantic picture of a kiwi, but there were none in the fruit bowl or the refrigerator. Drat!

So, I decided to post a picture of the next best thing: me posting this blog. I know, I know, I'm just adorable.

Your non-fruity, fruit-eating cat,
Nimbus

Baths Are Not For Kitties

2005-01-11T13:46:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of me as a pup. These were not my favorite days. I had ringworm and I needed baths and medicine FOR A LONG TIME! I'm glad I didn't know any better when I was little. I just thought baths were a normal part of being a baby. I was also relieved to find out ringworm was not a worm at all...thank goodness because that would be just gross. I think a lot of kittens had it at the shelter and they gave it to me and Moby. I will give the humans credit for being diligent and helping Moby and me to heal up.

I will add that I still have an affinity for water. I would never take another bath, but water sure is fun to play with in the sink when the lady is doing the dishes!

Your content cat,
Nimbus

Fetch Moby, Fetch!

2005-01-09T16:42:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness the humans bought the picture doo-hicky today. Now, I can show all my fans images of my blog topics.

To catch up, I have decided to post one of my proudest accomplishments, my pet cat, Moby. He's only about a week younger than me, but I've taught him everything he knows.

In the picture above, he's fetching his favorite ball. It's quite amazing. The humans throw the ball and he retrieves it and drops it in front of them. I decided to teach him this after watching Animal Planet. Humans seem to enjoy it so much, and somone needs to keep them occupied.

The best part is, he plays with the humans while I get my rest. Humans need so much love and affection, and they especially need to be played with regularly, so I sure didn't want all that responsibility! I have never actually fetched before...Moby takes care of that for me.

In return, I give Moby access to my food, litter box, and kitty condos. I also groom him regularly, keep him warm by sleeping next to him, and I exercise him by playing with him. It works out for all parties involved.

I am trying to make my new feline housemates into my pets too, but it's not going as smoothly as planned.

Your loving pet-owner,
Nimbus

Music

2005-01-08T14:14:00.000-08:00

There's a lot of great songs out there, but I think if the artists revised the lyrics, the songs could be even better.

For example, those REM guys sing that great song "Shiny, Happy, People." I think they should change the main lyrics to:

Shiny, happy, NIMBUS licking hiiiiissss pawwwwwwsssss.

It just makes more sense, and it describes me perfectly.

Then, that crazy guy, Ludacris has a song I like, but I think he should change one of the lines to:

Stop, drop, ka-boom baby, rub on your NIMBUS.

I think it would increase the amount of rubbins I get each day, plus I would be more famous than I already am. I could appear in some music videos, and they could show me sleeping and playing on the kitty condos.

I need to make some calls...

Your supercat,
Nimbus

Snow Day Go Away

2005-01-07T16:06:00.000-08:00

If I was supposed to be around snow, I would have been born with white fur instead of black fur. So knowing all this,
can someone tell me why it's snowing outside!!!??
This is outragous!!! The government should do something about this. Snow in the desert, hmf!

Your miffed cat,
Nimbus

Growl

2005-01-05T15:30:00.000-08:00

Love sounds like a cappuccino maker when she growls.

Sincerely,
Nimbus

I'm Irresistible!

2005-01-04T08:31:00.000-08:00

I've always known I was quite a catch, but I never expected two ladies to fight over me! It was great! Last night Lady and Love got into a brawl. I suppose Lady still has feelings for me, but it's been 24 hours and I'm completely over her.

I had to stop the fighting match. I chased Love away from Lady and I made sure I swatted both of them. I do not condone fighting in our home, even if it's for good purposes such as this fight was. The woman called me "her little policeman." If I'm going to take over that much responsibility, I want a badge and a water gun.

Hopefully, I will have pictures of my new lady love, if the man ever finds the dohicky that connects the picture thingy to the computer.

Your stud-muffin,
Nimbus C.

I've Been Used!

2005-01-03T17:25:00.000-08:00

I found out today why Lady Cat has taken to me so quickly...because I brought kitty condos, a kitty spa, a kitty window perch, and yummy food to our new dwelling. I think you humans call it being "used." We have parted ways amicably, and will remain friends. I think she's cheating on me with my pet cat Moby anyway.

Luckily, there are numerous female cats in this house, so I will set my sights on my second choice, a robust white cat named "Love." She seems to like it when I swat her as she walks by. Lately, she visits my room to eat food, but I think it's just a guise to keeps tabs on me.

Your slightly heartbroken but resilient cat,
Nimbus

Cat Naps

2005-01-02T09:00:00.000-08:00

Ever since I was a pup, I have been trying to teach the man and the woman that cat naps in the middle of the night are the way to go. I mean, I don't sleep all night...it's just crazy to waste all that time in bed. SO, every night, I make sure to wake them up at least two to three times. Humans sure are slow, because they still haven't caught on. I will continue my mission though. I'm just trying to help them see the light.

Your bright-eyed cat,
Nimbus

Love

2004-12-31T14:40:00.000-08:00

OK, so I need a lot of love. I like to snuggle, give huggies, kiss human noses, sleep on warm tummies, and even snuggle with my pet cat Moby. I'm secure enough in my cat-hood to admit this. End of discussion.
Where's the woman? This computer chair hurts my bum, and I need rubbies.

Toodles,
Nimbus

The Herb

2004-12-30T15:45:00.000-08:00

I experienced the most beautiful event of my life last night. My new friend, a beautiful young female cat named Lady, and I were playing on the kitty condos, watching the sunset, flirting by the floating bunny...and then it happened.
The woman brought out the most remarkable herb that I have never seen before. It was embedded in the kitty spa. I don't remember much after that. It was an out of cat experience. I was tingly and out of control, and I couldn't stop rubbing my head all over the kitty spa brushes.
It smelled so beautiful.
I just wanted to eat it all up.
I think I'm in love.
I need more of the herb.

Thank goodness for Petsmart.
Fans, if you have any information on this amazing herb, please tell me more.

Your forever changed cat,
Nimbus C.

English 2

2004-12-26T15:53:00.000-08:00

There are lots of cats in this house. I don't even mind them all, but you know what my biggest Nimbus Peeve is? Their names! Why does the woman have to add the "eee" sound to ALL OF OUR NAMES.

My name is Nimbus, not "Nimbee."
Then there is Moby, Minnie, Mickey, Lucky, and Lady...all already with the dreaded ending.
Next, there is Love, but she insists on calling her "Lov-eee."
Finally, there is Snowflake, and she calls her "Snow-eee."

I can't stand it. I'm going to scream!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Signed,
Nimbus, not Nimbee

Good Holiday Spirit

2004-12-25T22:06:00.000-08:00

Good Holiday Spirit to all my fans...
The humans delivered presents to me today. I will of course share them with my pet cat, Moby. I suppose they are showering me with gifts to make up for the move. Little do they know that I am having the time of my life with all these gorgeous felines.

But back to the gifts. I received a new perch for the window, which is quite cozy. I do have to say our new room has quite a view. Much better than the neighbor's wall at our old house. I also recieved something called a "kitty spa." It's an interesting contraption. I will tell you more about it when I find out.

I also recieved a vicious orange bunny that hangs from the window above the kitty condo. I shall kill it before tomorrow. It has no eyes and it has no toes, but it is very clever.

Kitty out...

Home Sweet Make Up Your Mind Home

2004-12-20T17:56:00.000-08:00

Well I wish the humans would make up their mind and stay in one place. In my short two and a half years of life, Moby and I have moved to our third residence. Do you know how annoying it is to change my address with all of my pen pals and credit card companies? Thank goodness for the Internet.

This new place is quite roomy, but there are a gang of other cats around here. I'm sociable, but poor little Moby is quite afraid. I'm actually thrilled because there are quite a few beautiful ladies around here. I know they won't be able to resist the "Nimbus Charm." I'm going to invite one to the top of my kitty condo later tonight for a little moonlight rendezvous.

Wish me luck,
Nimbus "the tiger" Cat

English

2004-12-15T14:40:00.000-08:00

Why does the work Kitty start with a "K," while Cat starts with a "C?"

Your ingenious Kitty Cat,
Nimbus

Mood

2004-12-12T15:04:00.000-08:00

I'm not in a blogging mood so leave me alone OK!!!!?

Nimbus Freaking Cat

The Dot

2004-12-11T16:51:00.000-08:00

In battle with "the dot"

I am one happy cat. Someone actually has read my blog! I wanted to share my excitement with the humans, so I pounced the lady while she was writing. She became upset for some reason.

Today I encountered "the dot." This red dot has supercat powers. I know I catch it, but it vaporizes into thin air as soon as my paws touch it. I am glad humans cannot perform such amazing feats. The dot seems to stem from a long, narrow, metal object. It lives on the bookshelf, and I know it stares at me throughout the night. I think it's plotting its next barrage of attacks on me and Moby. I must prepare for battle. Fans, please respond if you have tactics for conquering the dot.

Thank you for your time,
Nimbus Cat

U2

2004-11-24T15:32:00.000-08:00

So, the humans brought home the new U2 CD. I have to say I really enjoy "Vertigo." I just can't keep my paws from tapping when I hear that one. I think I might have to listen to more when the humans are gone. I really like Bono and Adam Clayton. Bono's cats area actually good friends of mine. When he's on tour in Vegas, he usually brings the cat's by the house. Those are some well-dressed animals. They look great in sunglasses. I have a question of all my fans out there...what do you think of U2? We need some dialogue on this blog.

Joy to all,
Nimbus Cat

Scootchies

2004-11-12T18:25:00.000-08:00

I absolutely hate "scootchies." I want to sit outside and pounce, roll, and stretch my paws! When the humans deprive me of this all day, and the door finally opens...I go for it! The great outdoors! But the humans always say "scootchies" and push me back inside. It is a completely asinine word and it's insulting to my intelligence. It's not like I can't handle being outside. I'd live outside all the time, if I had my bed, a water fountain, my toys, science diet food, my kitty condo, and a litter box. I was born in the wild...I know what it's like to "rough it." Stupid scootchies.

As always,
Nimbus C.

Four day weekend!

2004-11-11T08:21:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah. It's a four day weekend and this cat is happy. I can really catch up on some sleep. I don't work, go to school, shop, or do anything else that requires me to leave the house; but I'm still happy that I have these four days to relax. By the way:

Thank you to all the service men, women, and cats that have served this country in the armed forces. Have a good weekend everyone.

To all my fans,
Nimbus Cat

Humiliating

2004-11-10T15:59:00.000-08:00

OK, now this is just down right humiliating. Although I have been confused for awhile, I have come to realize that I am a cat...not a bunny or a monkey. I am releasing this picture to the public in an effort to stop humans from dressing up animals. It is not cute, nor is it funny. If the humans are going to dress me up next Halloween, I am retaliating with urine on the bed.

Yours truly,

Nimbus

Hello Fans

2004-11-09T18:12:00.000-08:00

Hello fans...this is me engaging in my favorite activity. I'll make this short because I would like to get back to this activity. Finally I have a forum to express my thoughts, although it is rather difficult to type, seeing as how I do not have opposable thumbs. I hope to educate all the world on Nimbus Cat, as I am a beautiful specimen of the feline persuasion, if I do say so myself. So bookmark me by hitting "Control-D," and visit often to learn the ways of the cat. I would love to hear from dogs too, as I am open to all species, even if flawed.

Sincerely,

Nimbus