Nimbus The Cat

The irregular Blog of an irregular feline.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Lucky Bear


Lucky Bear

Yes, it is true. I live with yet ANOTHER black-furred animal. While this animal looks like a cat, I have come to the conclusion that he actually a bear...hence his name, Lucky Bear. He looks like a cat, he smells like a cat, but he does not follow the rules of the cat.

For example, when I first encountered him, he walked up to me and meowed loudly in my face. This is clearly a violation of Cat Rule #15 which states, "When meeting cats for the first time, never make eye contact. Wait until they are not paying attention to you and smell their butt. Verbal communication is not authorized until all smells have been identified."

I let him know I am aware he is an imposter, and that I will not allow him to continue his crazy shenanegans of pretending to be a cat. Unfortunately, he speaks a completely unfamiliar language so that communication has been practically impossible. I think he speaks some form of "Bear-glish." As long as he stays under the bed, as he typically does during the day and throughout the winter, I think peace shall remain in the household.

Your non-bear,
Nimbus The Cat

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Human Fur

The man wants to get rid of the fur on his face so desperately that he continues the shaving routine daily, yet he keeps the fur on his head neatly groomed. This doesn't make sense...either you want fur or you don't. In my opinion, human heads remind me of a Sphynx cat with a toupee. It's just not natural.

Your furry (and proud of it!) cat,
Nimbus


Saturday, January 22, 2005

The Vicious Orange Bunny


The vicious orange bunny is about to attack...but I'm wise to his techniques.

Thanks to my wise feline friend, Timothy Dickens, I have come to realize that the vicious orange bunny that hangs from my window, is in fact, not a bunny at all. All I knew about bunnies is that they were fluffy, they bounced, and they brought chocolate on Easter. I had never actually seen one though.

I have decided to continue to call it the vicious orange bunny, however. It is used to that name, and I don't want to cause it unnecessary confusion. It doesn't seem too intelligent.

Your perpetually learning cat,
Nimbus

Thursday, January 20, 2005

All is well again


As you can see above, all is well with Moby and me. That Dr. Phil guy knows what he's talking about. I used his brutally honest tactics and told Moby how I felt deep down. I said, "I've been good to you cat! Now love me!" And it worked.

Sincerely,
Dr. Nimbus

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Pet Snatcher


Lady Cat

So you think she's cute, don't you? That's the problem, SHE IS...and Moby is eating is all up. He is supposed to be my pet cat, but he is spending an awful lot of time with this "Lady" cat-- if she's even a cat at all. She doesn't even know how to meow. She just grunts..."ehhh, ehhh." I think she may possibly be an extra furry piglet. Whatever species she is, she has cast a spell over my Moby cat. He isn't listening to me as he did before, and we only play tag for 30 minutes per day instead of an hour. I've never lost a pet before. It hurts inside. Nimbus cat has feelings too. I think I shall have a one on one with Moby near the kitty condos.
P.S.--Let it be known now that if she does not relinquish her claim to my favorite kitty condo perch as pictured above, she will experience the wrath of this furry ball of fire that is NIMBUS CAT. Ohh, I like how that sounded.

Your furry ball of fire,
Nimbus

Monday, January 17, 2005

Bad Kitty Days

I just had two very bad kitty days (I think humans call those days Saturday and Sunday). Moby and I recognize them as kitty days because they are all about us. The humans are home from work and we get showered with attention. I still got showered with attention, but not for good reasons. The woman brought me to the awful place where there are tons of crazy dogs and cats, and they jabbed me with needles. I have done my research on the Internet and I have learned they are called vaccinations. I will forgive the human because I love her and I understand she was just doing this because it's supposed to keep me healthy, but it was not a good experience.

We had to wait for almost an hour and there was barely any line. Then, we were next to this weird lady and her cat. She kept talking to my human about how she hoped her cat didn't have any contagious diseases. Yah, that's just what I want to hear when I'm parked in a kitty carrier right next to her cat.

When it was all over, I was very happy, and I felt fine. But then, later that night, I felt awful. I threw up and I didn't want anyone to touch me because I felt so yucky. I slept all of the next kitty day in my hiding spot, and I didn't eat a thing (which it definitely not like me). The humans were very worried, but a vet assured them this was normal. NORMAL?! I think it sucks.

The humans have done some research and found out that kitties such as myself who had all their booster shots as kittens, might not need yearly boosters. I wish they would have found that out beforehand. So my fellow kitties, have you heard this news? What do you think, and how often do you get vaccinated? The humans are definitely going to find out more about this for me.

Your long-winded cat,
Nimbus

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Good kitty etiquette


Good kitty etiquette

Notice to my fans:
Should I, by chance, meet one of you in the future, please don't be offended if I do not allow you touch me immediately (or ever). It is just good kitty etiquette to let me smell you first to determine if your hand is suitable enough to touch me. It takes many hours of grooming to keep this healthy fur-shine, so I hope you understand. The only exempt human is the woman, unless she has been gone from the house all day. All others are subject to the mandatory smell test.

Thank you for your time,
Nimbus the Cat

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Number One

I peed on the bed yesterday. It was a drastic measure, but it was necessary. The humans were asleep, but I really did them a favor because they turned off the singing box with the numbers WAY too many times. I snuggled in between them, rested my bum on the man, and let it roll. I never urinate on the woman; I'm not stupid. She feeds me and cleans my litter box.
On the other hand, the humans ARE pretty stupid. It was obvious why I did it. All I heard was their speculation:
maybe he doesn't like the other cats in the room...
maybe he wanted us to get up...
maybe he wanted his litter box cleaned...
maybe he doesn't like the new comforter...
maybe he's just being lazy...
They just don't get it, do they? Well, if they're too dumb to figure out why I did it, I'm not going to spell it out for them.

Your non-lazy cat (I was a bit offended by that one),
Nimbus Cat

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Kiwis


Me and the Blog

I'm a cat that knows what tastes good, and kiwis taste GOOOOOOD! Yes, I'm talking about that irresistable fruit that grows in the beautiful lands of New Zealand (I've watched the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy on DVD when the humans were at work).

I have been craving kiwi, and I wanted to post a gigantic picture of a kiwi, but there were none in the fruit bowl or the refrigerator. Drat!

So, I decided to post a picture of the next best thing: me posting this blog. I know, I know, I'm just adorable.

Your non-fruity, fruit-eating cat,
Nimbus

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Baths Are Not For Kitties


This is a picture of me as a pup. These were not my favorite days. I had ringworm and I needed baths and medicine FOR A LONG TIME! I'm glad I didn't know any better when I was little. I just thought baths were a normal part of being a baby. I was also relieved to find out ringworm was not a worm at all...thank goodness because that would be just gross. I think a lot of kittens had it at the shelter and they gave it to me and Moby. I will give the humans credit for being diligent and helping Moby and me to heal up.

I will add that I still have an affinity for water. I would never take another bath, but water sure is fun to play with in the sink when the lady is doing the dishes!

Your content cat,
Nimbus


Sunday, January 09, 2005

Fetch Moby, Fetch!



Thank goodness the humans bought the picture doo-hicky today. Now, I can show all my fans images of my blog topics.

To catch up, I have decided to post one of my proudest accomplishments, my pet cat, Moby. He's only about a week younger than me, but I've taught him everything he knows.

In the picture above, he's fetching his favorite ball. It's quite amazing. The humans throw the ball and he retrieves it and drops it in front of them. I decided to teach him this after watching Animal Planet. Humans seem to enjoy it so much, and somone needs to keep them occupied.

The best part is, he plays with the humans while I get my rest. Humans need so much love and affection, and they especially need to be played with regularly, so I sure didn't want all that responsibility! I have never actually fetched before...Moby takes care of that for me.

In return, I give Moby access to my food, litter box, and kitty condos. I also groom him regularly, keep him warm by sleeping next to him, and I exercise him by playing with him. It works out for all parties involved.

I am trying to make my new feline housemates into my pets too, but it's not going as smoothly as planned.

Your loving pet-owner,
Nimbus


Saturday, January 08, 2005

Music

There's a lot of great songs out there, but I think if the artists revised the lyrics, the songs could be even better.

For example, those REM guys sing that great song "Shiny, Happy, People." I think they should change the main lyrics to:


Shiny, happy, NIMBUS licking hiiiiissss pawwwwwwsssss.

It just makes more sense, and it describes me perfectly.

Then, that crazy guy, Ludacris has a song I like, but I think he should change one of the lines to:


Stop, drop, ka-boom baby, rub on your NIMBUS.

I think it would increase the amount of rubbins I get each day, plus I would be more famous than I already am. I could appear in some music videos, and they could show me sleeping and playing on the kitty condos.

I need to make some calls...

Your supercat,
Nimbus


Friday, January 07, 2005

Snow Day Go Away

If I was supposed to be around snow, I would have been born with white fur instead of black fur. So knowing all this,
can someone tell me why it's snowing outside!!!??
This is outragous!!! The government should do something about this. Snow in the desert, hmf!

Your miffed cat,
Nimbus



Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Growl

Love sounds like a cappuccino maker when she growls.

Sincerely,
Nimbus

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

I'm Irresistible!

I've always known I was quite a catch, but I never expected two ladies to fight over me! It was great! Last night Lady and Love got into a brawl. I suppose Lady still has feelings for me, but it's been 24 hours and I'm completely over her.

I had to stop the fighting match. I chased Love away from Lady and I made sure I swatted both of them. I do not condone fighting in our home, even if it's for good purposes such as this fight was. The woman called me "her little policeman." If I'm going to take over that much responsibility, I want a badge and a water gun.

Hopefully, I will have pictures of my new lady love, if the man ever finds the dohicky that connects the picture thingy to the computer.

Your stud-muffin,
Nimbus C.

Monday, January 03, 2005

I've Been Used!

I found out today why Lady Cat has taken to me so quickly...because I brought kitty condos, a kitty spa, a kitty window perch, and yummy food to our new dwelling. I think you humans call it being "used." We have parted ways amicably, and will remain friends. I think she's cheating on me with my pet cat Moby anyway.

Luckily, there are numerous female cats in this house, so I will set my sights on my second choice, a robust white cat named "Love." She seems to like it when I swat her as she walks by. Lately, she visits my room to eat food, but I think it's just a guise to keeps tabs on me.

Your slightly heartbroken but resilient cat,
Nimbus

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Cat Naps

Ever since I was a pup, I have been trying to teach the man and the woman that cat naps in the middle of the night are the way to go. I mean, I don't sleep all night...it's just crazy to waste all that time in bed. SO, every night, I make sure to wake them up at least two to three times. Humans sure are slow, because they still haven't caught on. I will continue my mission though. I'm just trying to help them see the light.

Your bright-eyed cat,
Nimbus